EuroLIfe: Day 112

A friend of mine told me recently that when a woman gets pregnant, she begins to "nest." Personally, I'm inclined to think that my newfound desire to knit or crochet has nothing to do with the fact that I'm pregnant, but I guess I'll leave it up to you to judge for yourselves. In any case, I am venturing into the world of needlework...with great trepidation.

Over Christmas vacation, my sister-in-law Rachel very (very) patiently taught me the basics of knitting. The beginning was rough, and the early results looked comical, but I started to get the hang of it. I knitted on the train, on the plane, on the couch--and the result started to look a bit better. Unfortunately, after a while knitting seems to hurt my wrists, and it went incredibly slowly. In the meantime, Emily (my niece) "suggested" that I make her a blanket, and I said that I would make her one for her birthday. Well, that was preposterously optimistic of me. Her birthday is in February and I'd be lucky if I could knit her a potholder by then, let alone a blanket. Enter crocheting. From what I hear, it is easier on the hands (for those of us prone to wrist & hand pain), and a whole lot faster (for those of us prone to impatience.)

So, I bought a book. I'm a bit embarrassed by the particular book I got, but I had heard and read such great things about it...especially that it was clear enough to teach a person with zero experience. (In fact, the rare criticism on Amazon.com was that most of the patterns could be done by a beginner.) So, I bought it. Now, I warn you, the title of the book is rated PG, but here goes. I bought "Stitch & Bitch, the Happy Hooker."

It's a good think I worked in the library this morning, because once I got my needles and yarn today--quite the ordeal auf Deutsch--there was no turning back to philosophy. (For the afternoon, that is; I'm not proposing a career shift.)

Now, about the yarn...it is not cheap, and I am a beginner, so I went for the sale rack. Here's what I found:
An enormous, very pink wad of yarn. It's about the size of a cat, and it is really very pink. (I went with this color for Emily's blanket--which, as commissioned, is supposed to be "pink with some purple." If we have a girl, this will be fortuitous. If we have a boy, not so much.)

So there I sat, for four hours, trying to figure out this crocheting business. It was not exactly the relaxing and rewarding experience (culminating in a little collection of "granny squares") that I'd hoped for. I do think I finally got a few basic stitches down, but here's what I have to show for it:
The circle is about 2 1/2 inches across, and it was a beast I tell you. A beast. A blanket by the end of February is going to be a bit of a stretch.

Now here's the real problem: I am getting very excited about the prospects of crocheting. My book has patterns for cute purses, pink bunny slippers (after all, I have to use up this pink yarn), and all manner of fun accessories. It also has "testimonials" from the designers. I have already spoken to Michael about this, and I have his full support, but I am going to have to ask you all as well to hold me accountable here: I am not to become the kind of person who crochets doilies for the headrests of her car. I am not to make sweaters for dogs, or to make toaster covers for my siblings or friends. I am not, and this I have been told explicitly, to make bunny slippers for Michael. The more "testimonials" I read, the more real this danger seems.

So, I am happily working on becoming a crocheter, but I need my friends and family to keep me from becoming "that lady"...Don't get me wrong, I would love to be the woman in church who makes blankets for the new babies. I just don't want to be the woman who makes crocheted iPod cases (I swear, it's in the book) for begrudgingly polite teenagers. I thank you all in advance for your help in this matter.